Oh the highs & lows of the Christian walk. Almost 12 months into our no job/no income/job searching/fervently praying journey, boredom took root in 2002. No matter how chaotic life gets, laundry and the mundane must still be done. At the same time, my son decides, like a bloom stretching through numbing snow, to be baptized. He is the rose, the snow is me.
Among the drab, monotonous, daily living that can be our faith walk, are the jewels presented as undeserved gifts from God & our children.
My Red Journal continued…..
Monday, September 2, 2002
Boredom as set in.
Tuesday, Sept. 3, 2002
Thank You, Lord for sending us to the Academy of Dance Arts! You made it very clear, through all other doors being closed, to opening this dance studio up to us! The girls will get great training there & maybe I’ll get a chance someday.
Lord, I pray more than ever for Greg. Depression has hit. We have 15 days until his interview in NYC with Oracle & from hearing the outcome of Perot’s 10th & 11th meeting. Another 2 weeks to wait!
This apartment has gotten small, one car has become stifling, as well as one cell phone, and not knowing the future has gotten almost unbearable. Greg and I keep each other cheered up & looking continually to Your face, but there’s nothing left to say now.
Please pour Your comfort & blessings on Greg, Lord. The spiritual cheerleader in me is tired. Oh how we need You. Please guard our finances. And help the kids make it through.
We have no doubts in You, dear Jesus.
Monday, September 9, 2002
Jesus, You answered my prayer & prepared my heart for my trip to NYC with my mom & sisters. Thank You. We had a wonderful time! You also are answering my prayer to become closer to Jill. I feel a spark of connection & willingness to understand between us. I no longer have to say that ‘they don’t know who I am.’ I continue to pray for them & their walk with You.
Lord, Your plan surpasses all understanding. I can’t wait to see how Your plan for our lives will weave into Your ultimate plan. Jesus, I still pray for courage to accept Your answer. Please, take away all fear & doubting. Please, teach me to be humble & not boastful–it’s very hard for me when I’m excited about how You put everything together & that You would use me to do it!
Oh, Jehovah, it is glorious that my son will be baptized in Your name this Sunday. I know You have special plans for him, Lord; he knows it, too. May Cody enter his public confession of faith with true understanding of You. Thank You for the gift of my son.
Lord, I pray that You help me to memorize verses. It’s very difficult for me. I suppose I’m lazy. My favorite verse is, “I can do all things through Jesus Christ, who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13
A new one to memorize, “Don’t let others spoil Your faith & joy with their philosophies, their wrong & shallow answers built on men’s thoughts & ideas, instead of on what Christ has said.” Colossians 3:8
Lord, like Peter, I turned away from You @ Ground Zero. When there was a group gathered & praying I chose to not publicly bow my head to You. I couldn’t bring myself to do that in front of my sisters & mom. I am so sorry. I pray heavily for courage to praise You at all times. Please help me, Lord, for I am weak. I am weak.